Wednesday, April 9, 2008
2:55 PM
yep.. i got a new mission for this heartache life.
and i think it is entitled as *MOVING ON*.. what do you think people??
all i knew was, i had been happy with my heart-matters life for the past few days.. but then it feels like a dream, eh? i thought, my junior years would be the best, and thankfully, it is.. never in my life, na I've felt so wonderful.. as if you're in heaven because you are together with someone who had the best part in your heart..
but still, it was like a dream talaga.. because parang ako lang yung nagising sa bangungot.. everything came to an end.. i don't know if i've done the right thing or worst.. kanina nga lang eh, iyak ako ng iyak... as if there's no tomorrow eh? i didn't realize that the impact was a blast for those that i had chosen to love.. it's not like nagmamayabang ako eh noh? but if you could just refresh my experiences with them, i fall and then later on i rejected them and then try to MOVE ON and then the cycle continues..
i already fallen in love thrice with three different person.. and the last one. it was my first for crying out load but still it didn't work out like the rest.. somehow, something inside me is telling me that i had a jinx when it comes to my heart matters.. MALAS lang in short..
oh, how happy i was when i had him, but now, i no longer had 'him'.. you know ung feeling when you're holding someone's hand who is close to your heart.. hearing those three words that literally caused me felt like i was in heaven.. days spent together as if we are the only people left in this world.. having the feeling that somebody was there to cheer you up.. how you feel warm with those tight hug.. how both of you call each other such pet names ika nga.. how certain things that you mostly done alone became "together", going home and going to school together, eating lunch together with our friends.. how you felt secured in everything you do..
but now, all i can say, it was like a dream, just a dream.. a wonderful one.. because one time i just woke up feeling hopeless and decided to end it all up.. i had my reasons, i can't fool my family this time, and i want to make everything right and will start cleaning up my own mess.. and my main reason.. the true 'him' that i learned to love is gone.. nagbago na siya, and all i can say is "where had my guardian angel had flown?" without even thinking what he would feel about it. i left an emotional scar, a big one too.. 'cause i think he became worst now, all he could think right in the moment was one word: "die"
can somebody told me? can you really move on from someone na kahit anung oras man eh, you just can't take him off your mind? can i see any progress in that? how?
how could they say foolish things and do stupid acts just to let you know that they can't live anymore without you? the world is wide, very wide,, i didn't think it would be impossible for him to forget me, if he's willing, that's it..
they told me, if you're dead, you are numb to any pain, it was sort of as if all your problems had vanished.. but come to think of it, isipin mo nalang mangyayari sa mga iiwanan mo? it was just like you passed your own problems to those who love you.. and hell no? they became part of my life, hahayaan ko ba silang mawala ng ganun ganun lang? i'm not that foolish..
i don't know kung makakaya ko pa, but i'll pray for it.. i hope it will work.. i had to MOVE ON and also him.. my happiness doesn't matter right now, all i can think is the happiness of those who are around me.. because, my happiness was..
...my guardian angel, he took it with him when he left..
and i think it is entitled as *MOVING ON*.. what do you think people??
all i knew was, i had been happy with my heart-matters life for the past few days.. but then it feels like a dream, eh? i thought, my junior years would be the best, and thankfully, it is.. never in my life, na I've felt so wonderful.. as if you're in heaven because you are together with someone who had the best part in your heart..
but still, it was like a dream talaga.. because parang ako lang yung nagising sa bangungot.. everything came to an end.. i don't know if i've done the right thing or worst.. kanina nga lang eh, iyak ako ng iyak... as if there's no tomorrow eh? i didn't realize that the impact was a blast for those that i had chosen to love.. it's not like nagmamayabang ako eh noh? but if you could just refresh my experiences with them, i fall and then later on i rejected them and then try to MOVE ON and then the cycle continues..
i already fallen in love thrice with three different person.. and the last one. it was my first for crying out load but still it didn't work out like the rest.. somehow, something inside me is telling me that i had a jinx when it comes to my heart matters.. MALAS lang in short..
oh, how happy i was when i had him, but now, i no longer had 'him'.. you know ung feeling when you're holding someone's hand who is close to your heart.. hearing those three words that literally caused me felt like i was in heaven.. days spent together as if we are the only people left in this world.. having the feeling that somebody was there to cheer you up.. how you feel warm with those tight hug.. how both of you call each other such pet names ika nga.. how certain things that you mostly done alone became "together", going home and going to school together, eating lunch together with our friends.. how you felt secured in everything you do..
but now, all i can say, it was like a dream, just a dream.. a wonderful one.. because one time i just woke up feeling hopeless and decided to end it all up.. i had my reasons, i can't fool my family this time, and i want to make everything right and will start cleaning up my own mess.. and my main reason.. the true 'him' that i learned to love is gone.. nagbago na siya, and all i can say is "where had my guardian angel had flown?" without even thinking what he would feel about it. i left an emotional scar, a big one too.. 'cause i think he became worst now, all he could think right in the moment was one word: "die"
can somebody told me? can you really move on from someone na kahit anung oras man eh, you just can't take him off your mind? can i see any progress in that? how?
how could they say foolish things and do stupid acts just to let you know that they can't live anymore without you? the world is wide, very wide,, i didn't think it would be impossible for him to forget me, if he's willing, that's it..
they told me, if you're dead, you are numb to any pain, it was sort of as if all your problems had vanished.. but come to think of it, isipin mo nalang mangyayari sa mga iiwanan mo? it was just like you passed your own problems to those who love you.. and hell no? they became part of my life, hahayaan ko ba silang mawala ng ganun ganun lang? i'm not that foolish..
i don't know kung makakaya ko pa, but i'll pray for it.. i hope it will work.. i had to MOVE ON and also him.. my happiness doesn't matter right now, all i can think is the happiness of those who are around me.. because, my happiness was..
...my guardian angel, he took it with him when he left..
